Retail Therapy

Retail Therapy

“Luxury lives in the finer details. It’s a cloth napkin at a dinner table. It’s a mint on your pillow before bed”.

Iggy Azalea

I work at a law firm located in a high-end fashion district and I do occasionally venture into those fancy stores myself. I think the funniest thing to me about high-end retail, is the salespeople with attitude – because you know they’re likely making minimum wage. I mean, they probably can’t afford the underwear they just sold you and would have to buy the outfits they sell one button at a time.

Could this be why they’re so bitter? I swear,  they’re all right on the edge of some sort of very fashionable riot. Then again, maybe their clientele really dig the snobby service? It could be a kind of social mirroring? I could see that being a thing; rich people are peculiar creatures.

I do enjoy some expensive clothes admittedly. But mostly I just like well-made clothes. Which actually rules out much of the trendy high end stuff, with its un-hemmed, un-lined, highly unattractive pieces.

Frankly, if I pay more than $25 for something I want it to be hemmed. If I pay more than $50 I want it not to be see through. And if I pay more than $75 I definitely want it to be lined. If I pay more than $100 for an item, I require that it include both sleeves. (What the f!@% is up with one sleeved shirts?). Nobody wants to have to earn the second sleeve later by collecting cereal box tops.

Over $200 and I fully expect a hand job from a sad faced lady wearing a satin glove. I think these are reasonable requests.

Anyway, on any given day but particularly weekends everyone is out shopping in their best outfit; because you have to look really good when you’re shopping for yet more outfits, right?

In truth, the main reason I keep putting off shopping myself (the kind of shopping where you actually buy things as opposed to just judging salespeople) is that I just don’t have the right thing to wear.

Perhaps going in my underwear would add some much needed motivation? Some stores might give me a pity button or pity sleeve even? A couple days of making the rounds and I might have a full outfit. It would probably look quite high end.

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